Roa: Batty...(see what we did there?)

Jamie Walker gets apocalyptic with the former Argie keeper...

Religion can make people do some crazy things. Still, we like to think that at Toepoke, there is a space for each and every creed known to man. We don’t care if you worship the bearded G-Man up in the sky, sacrifice men to the Aztec gods or even kneel to almighty Ra, as long as you’re prepared to respect that we follow the word of the ball. That said, if what you believe in contradicts what we do, we’re happy to lambast you (unless you’re part of a murderous Aztec horde, in which case we wish you all the best in your endeavours.)

...Cue Carlos Roa. At one time, he was seen as one the greatest goalkeepers in the world - for a few years in the late 1990s he rivalled the likes of Buffon & Barthez. Having cut his cloth in his native Argentina, Roa moved to Real Mallorca at the beginning of the ’97/98 season and proceeded to play in the form of his life.

Mallorca won the Supercopa Espana, and Carlos duly went to France ‘98 as first choice keeper for Argentina, a tournament which would propel him into the upper echelons of the football world. Not only did he keep clean sheets in all three group games, Roa was immortalised as an Argentinean hero by saving the penalty of England’s David Batty, thus eliminating the old enemy; a nation of mediocre journeymen (Batty and Anderton), terrible pundits (Shearer and Sheringham) and teenagers (Beckham and Owen), all led into battle by a manager who famously had so much belief in his ability he sought the help of a psychic. (For our opinion on the occult see Mental #5 Raymond Domenech.)

Perhaps Roa’s extraordinary ability as a professional athlete could be attributed to his faith. As a strict Seventh-Day-Adventist, Carlos lived a lifestyle which couldn’t have been more alien to that of then England Captain Tony Adams. Nicknamed Lechuga (Lettuce), Carlos was, and is still, a strict vegetarian, who does not partake in the consumption of alcohol or drugs under any circumstance. Compared to the lifestyles of his international adversaries, Carlos must have seemed a veritable saint. Hardly the life of a mental.

Alas, there is a twist in this tale. Though Roa’s dietary requirements may seem pioneering now for a professional footballer from the pie-and-ale ‘90s, some of his other religiously influenced ideas were a little more bizarre. Seventh-Day-Adventism preaches the observance of the Sabbath from sunset on Friday until sunset on Saturday, during which time all work is prohibited.

How this did not affect Roa earlier in his career we aren’t sure, but in any case, at the end of 1999, he refused to renew his contract at the club. At around the same time, he developed an idea, based on his faith, that the world was going to end in the year 2000. At the time, prophet Carlos said, “the year 2000 is going to be difficult. In the world, there is war, hunger, plague, much poverty, floods. I can assure you that those people who don't have a spiritual connection with God and the type of life that he wants will be in trouble.”

Aside from stating the obvious about global issues, it is difficult to see Roa’s point. Were the heathen masses to be scourged with some sort of mega-apocalypse at some point in the year 2000? Whatever he had thought though, he must have felt more than a little foolish waking up on New Year’s Day, 2001.

Three-hundred and sixty-five days had passed without the world ending, and I'm pretty sure the second coming of the Messiah didn’t happen, unless of course he was referring to Prince, who re-released 1999 to celebrate the new millennium to rapturous praise, if not the Rapture itself.

Therefore, Carlos Roa, you have been consigned to the strange sect known as Toepoke Mentals, for your ill-considered prophecies. If you are to predict global apocalypse in the future, please do so with our friends the Aztecs' religious beliefs in mind. After all, everyone knows the world will end in 2012, you just came too early.