New Zealand at the World Cup. Present.

It's less than 100 days to the World Cup begins in earnest. So that means we have clearly not stuck to our initial promise of one World Cup guide per week until the competition starts. So expect at least one guide per week from now on.* This week, we take a look at New Zealand and its fine footballing heritage. It is also a country that now has more Lord Of The Rings geeks - creaming their pants when they see the exact spot where Elijah Wood looked like a complete gimp - than sheep.

*or expect the last 15 guides to appear the day before the World Cup

New Zealand

750/1 (Paddy Power)

Nickname...
All Whites

How they qualified...
They had an almost unblemished record in the group stages, with only one defeat. That defeat was against the mighty Fiji. But hey, they did wipe the floor with the two other teams in the group, New Caledonia and Vanuatu. Their reward for seeing off such illustrious teams was a play off against Bahrain, the Middle East answer to Estonia. One goal over the two legs was enough to see New Zealand through to the greatest show on earth.

Commentators most likely to bang on about...
The fact they have only ever qualified for one other World Cup, in Spain 82, when they lost all three games. They did, however, manage to put two past Scotland in that tournament. This would be an achievement in itself, were it not for the fact Scotland regularly get embarrassed by the minnows in the World Cup (See also Iran, Costa Rica and Peru). And they will no doubt manage to bring up Jonah Lomu somehow.

Players you'll have heard of...
Rory Fallon. Ok, unless you are a Plymouth die-hard, he might not be a player who instantly springs to mind. Fallon, however, scored the only goal in the play-off game and instantly became a national hero. Even bigger than Peter Jackson and the guy that plays the manager in Flight Of The Conchords. Rory is a born again Christian and said it was God who helped him score that goal. God must truly be a New Zealand fan if he took time out of his busy schedule sorting out famine, genocide and ecological disaster to help the Plymouth defender pop one in the back of the net. You may also have heard of Chris Killen, Ryan Nelson and er..Jonah Lomu.

A player you can pretend to know...
Shane Smeltz. The Gold Coast United striker has 15 goals from 27 caps. That should be an impressive scoring record in anybody's book. In terms of goals to games ratio, it's right up there with Batistuta, Muller and Pele. Unfortunately, while most of these guys goals came against some of the mightiest national teams in world football, Shane's goals have been against the aforementioned New Caladonia and that other team that starts with a V. And those teams' defences Smeltz like shit.

Mental Manager rating...
Ricki Herbert is 48 years old and has never left New Zealand. He played for Mt Wellington AFC in New Zealand, he represented New Zealand at international level, he has coached New Zealand club teams before getting the job as New Zealand coach. And somebody thought it was worth writing a biography about him called 'A New Fire'. Maybe it is about the time he actually bought a new electric fire for his front room. It probably represents the craziest thing he has ever done in his life. Mental.

Chances of hooliganism...
To be fair, New Zealanders do love a ruck. However, it usually involves 22 obscenely muscular chaps who use a rugby ball as an excuse to have a good grope of each others testicles. They also love to act all scary when they do The Hakka but most of them probably learned the moves at drama school. As for the fans creating trouble in South Africa, the chances are minimal. It's difficult to have a punch up after you have been on a plane for five and half days.

If they were a celeb they'd be...
Russell Crowe. Big, brawny and easily confused with an Australian.

How we reckon they'll do...
This is a tough call. It's difficult to predict how the All Whites will do in their first World Cup for so many years. Actually, it's not that difficult to forsee. They will get absolutely rodgered in every game.