'I am really struggling with this black-hole theory, I wonder if James Milner can spare me five minutes?'

The infinite wisdom of a midfielder from Aston Villa...

There are so many things to be thankful for on this Earth. The breaking sun over a mirror like sea, the smile of your child that melts your heart and the sense of pleasure true freedom brings, to name but a few. But more than even these wonderful things, the intelligence and wisdom of a Premiership footballer is perhaps the greatest gift we can ever have. Take James Milner's comments at yesterday's press conference for the England v Egypt game, for example. He said:

"The great thing about the World Cup is that you get to play different teams from different continents."

Thank you indeed Mr Milner for that wonderful insight into international competition. You have saved us not only money but the embarrassment of looking foolish as we were planning on heading down to the bookies today to put £50 on England to beat West Bromwich Albion in the group stages in South Africa.