Filtering out the dross from Thursday's papers, and collecting it all in one juicy bundle...

Today Rafa is being personally abused by BMI-scrutinising Romanians, Bobby Manc is on the verge of his first British press roasting, and proof the Sun had to file their copy nice and early last night...

The Mail
"Benitez grilled by Romanian press”
Although the headline makes it sound like the Liverpool boss has been killed in the sort of accident reserved for Bond villains, the Daily Mail are actually describing yesterday's somewhat unique press conference between Rafa and the Romanian hacks. Apparently, after being given a hard time about Liverpool's decision to charter their own flight to Unirea, the best was saved for last: “Mr.Benitez. The last time I saw you was at the 2005 Champions League final, and your, erm, silhouette seems to have changed since then. Why is that?” According to the Mail, Rafa just laughed it off, so fair play. But the fat shit might think again before criticising this country's scribes (just kidding...)

The Guardian
"Mancini feels the heat as Stoke knock out Man City”
It hasn't taken the press long to change their minds about Bobby Manc has it? First he was the suave, sexy, scarf-wearing Italian who had come to win City some domestic cup silverware while qualifying for the Champs League. Now that a loss to Dante's favourite football team (probably), Stoke City, last night confirmed that they won't be winning a jot again this year, the Guardian are writing about the opposition fans singing of his imminent demise, “murmurs of discontent” in the dressing room about his training methods and highlighting their string of underwhelming recent results. Next they'll be saying his scarf is a cheap gimmick and that his previously well-coiffured mane is “going grey with the stress”. Yep, we can see it now. At least they won't call him fat...

The Sun
"Kalouless"
“Fury as blunder ref denies Blues this penalty” scream the nation's favourite paper. Which would be understandable if the game had finished 1-0 to Inter, with bugger all else to talk about. But we could've sworn that Kalou's first-half penalty shout was proven rather academic in the 51^st minute when the tangerine-booted Ivory Coast striker scored to equalise anyway – thanks to some Brazilian goalkeeping from Mr. Face-Puff, Julio Cesar. Only for Esteban Cambiasso to score with a belter, while Lucio put in one of the best defensive displays of modern times on Drogba. Lampard and Ballack underwhelmed, Ballotelli was a tad mental and a bit of a cheat, Malouda looked as comfortable at left-back as Gordon Brown does smiling at kids, and Petr Cech is out for the season with knee-knack. Not forgetting Jose's understated post-match act, which suggests that he's not too convinced his side will go through anyway. Which is just some of what we enjoyed in a cracker of an encounter, but hey, if the Sun hacks want to base the crux of their story on a first-half meaningless tumble that will have no further impact on the tie, then fair enough. Early deadline last night was it chaps?

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