International football fetishist Stephen Roberts meets Uruguay...

Uruguay, a country immortalised by Homer Simpson, the home of everyone's favourite sweet-sounding South American capital city, Montevideo, and one of this year's World Cup also-rans.

Uruguay
169/1 (Betfair)

Nickname...
Los Charruas
 
How they qualified...
Just scraped through the notoriously difficult Conmebol group thanks to a Diego Lugano goal in a one-nil play-off victory over Costa Rica. Rumour has it that Paulo Wanchope was giving serious thought to coming out of retirement were his pals to qualify. Killjoys.
 
Commentators are most likely to bang on about...
Uruguay lifting the first ever World Cup, how remarkable that feat was due to their miniscule population, Paolo Montero's proposed fight with Mike Tyson and his proud standing at the top of Serie A's red card table, Alvaro Recoba's perfect left foot and Diego Forlan flourishing in Spain when he wasn't 'up to the rigours of the Premier League'.

Players you’ll have heard of...
Well there's Forlan, and erm... goalkeeper Fabian Carini, who once caught the bespectacled eye of Arsene Wenger, and Ajax attacker Luis Suarez.
 
A player you can pretend to know...
Nomadic striker Sebastian Abreu. A man of 20 clubs in a 14-year period. Decent goalscorer however, with 28 goals from 56 appearances for the national side. Reminds us of what a good word nomadic is.
 
Mental manager rating...
This is where things get a bit interesting (not that interesting). Oscar Tabarez, known as El Maestro, was actually a school teacher after having endured a somewhat undistinguished career as a defender. However, he is more renowned for his attacking style of play. Sometimes a trifle too gung-ho but entertaining nevertheless. He is also a self-confessed Ernesto Ché Guevarista, naming his daughter Tania after Ché's last compañera. Bloody Commies...
 
Chances of hooliganism...
You'd hope not. Described as the Switzerland of South America and with a population of around 3.5 million, they really can't afford to have a small percentage banged up. Having said that, ever been to a River Plate match? No, me neither.
 
If they were a celeb they’d be...
Kylie Minogue. Small but perfectly-formed. Though not the all-conquering phenomenom of yesteryear.
 
How we reckon they’ll do...
Tough times lie ahead in a group comprising of Mexico, France and the hosts. A victory in any of the group games will be regarded as a respectable showing.