"Hands up if you love fat lasses..."
Jamie Walker on football's most famous fascist...
There are many forms of mentalism. Previously, we have been applying our focus to the ‘stark raving bonkers’, madcap school of insania. This week, we’re stepping away from this school, towards the nasty bastard, ‘I don’t like you ‘cos you’re different’ one. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Paolo Di Canio...
You might say that Paolo is the product of a misspent youth. Growing up in a district of Rome, famed for its liberal leanings, young Paolo decided that what was most important was a proud sense of notoriety within his ‘burb. If everyone’s a liberal, extreme conservatism becomes an easy method of antagonism. And so Di Canio proved, joining a branch of the Lazio ‘Ultras’ renowned for their particularly hardcore anti-Semitic and fascistic stance; the Irriducibili.
This combination of hooliganism and fascist ideology is one which Di Canio has seemingly taken as the bedrock of his career, if not his life. Paolo is unlikely to be remembered for his humanitarian work. To this day, he holds the record of the longest disciplinary ban ever given out in the Premier League.
Playing for Sheffield Wednesday (remember them), he sent referee Paul Alcock tumbling because he’d had the cheek, the sheer nerve, to send him off. Unjust hey, Paolo? Sure, we’d love to eye rake the lug-eared mug that is Martin Keown too, another fine purveyor of shite football analysis, but you’ve got to accept the ramifications of your actions. Referee Alcock might have gone down like a royal pussy, but he didn’t deserve it. You deserved the 11 game ban. If only you’d learnt your lesson...
Having decided that petty assault of the beautiful game’s lawmen was a little tame, Di Canio moved back home, to his beloved Lazio. To the disdain of everyone except his beloved Ultras, Paolo’s return to his favourite club spawned a most charming celebration - a fucking fascist salute. His justification for his actions? “I am a fascist, not a racist.”
Sure, Paolo, the Eric Cartman philosophy of argument, that’ll stick for everyone with at least a basic knowledge of the three Rs. This is all whilst encouraging fascism is a crime in Italy. Is it possible to ‘encourage’ more vigorously than at the public spectacle of a top-level derby game? Thought not. A 10,000 euro fine for a well-paid footballer doesn’t exactly smack of punition though.
Silvio Berlusconi described Di Canio as, “an exhibitionist, but essentially a good lad.” Then again, President Berlusconi isn’t exactly a bastion of morality. Unfortunately for Paulo, chances are nobody is likely to remember him as a ‘good lad’. More likely, he’ll go down in history much like Nick Griffin; a ranting, right-wing nutter, condemned by normal society for being an angry prick.
