Naturally, we thought it’d be a good idea for a Welshman, Jack Rivers, to give you the lowdown on Cameroon…

Ever since a then 42-year-old Roger Milla became the oldest player to score in a World Cup back in 1994, Cameroon have always had a special place in my heart. And, if truth be told, I couldn’t be arsed to write about any of the other African teams - Nigeria, Algeria and Ivory Coast - that were left to do in this guide. Anyway, here’s Cameroon in a ToePoke-sized nutshell…

Cameroon
80/1 (Paddy Power)

Nickname
Les Lions Indomptables (The Indomitable Lions)

How they qualified…
Even if they’d fielded a one-man team of just Samuel Eto’o, you’d have expected Cameroon to pretty much piss a group comprising Gabon, Togo and Morroco. Which is what they did…well, kinda. Having got off to a shocker following a loss to Togo and a draw with Morroco, Cameroon did what any self-respecting team does nowadays and fired their German manager, Otto Pfister. Naturally, they hired a Frenchman (yes, a Frenchman!), Paul Le Guen, to replace him. Suffice to say, Le Guen got the job done, with Cameroon topping the group. Eventually.

Commentators most likely to bang on about…
Our guess is that John Motson will constantly reiterate the fact that Cameroon were the first African team to reach the quarter finals of a World Cup in 1990, when they lost in an extra-time epic to, yep, England. Failing that, he’ll remind us about Marc-Vivien Foe’s tragic on-pitch death at the 2003 Confederations Cup. Or, if he’s in one of those annoying jokey moods of his, Motson will have a chortle about Cameroon’s sleeveless PUMA shirt and one-piece kit being banned from the 2002 World Cup and 2004 Africa Cup of Nations, respectively.

Players you’ll have heard of…
Well, there’s Samuel Eto’o, Alex Song, Eric Djemba-Djemba, as well as Tottenham duo, Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Sebastien Bassong. Oh, and players from the Championship like Newcastle United’s Geremi. Will I ever get bored of reminding people of Newcastle’s current league status? No.

A player you can pretend to know…
Timothee Atouba. Following a stint with Spurs in 2004, the 27-year-old left back currently plays for Ajax and, according to Wikipedia, get this, is “known for making things unreasonably complicated.” Wiki being Wiki, however, there’s no real substantial evidence to back up the claim…

Mental manager rating…
Paul Le Guen? Well, he’s French, and once had to be protected from angry PSG fans by eight police vans, so yeah, we guess he could flip at any given moment if given reason to do so.

If they were a celeb…
Brittany Murphy. Talented, attractive, much-loved…but gone too soon. Not as a result of a prescription medication overdose though, rather coming up against some shit-hot team in the knockout stages.

Chances of hooliganism…
Not likely, unless Spain’s Real Zaragoza contingent who’ve made the trip over to South Africa start hurling racist abuse at Eto’o. Though, even they’re not stupid enough to do something that mental in a country like Saffa, surely?

How we reckon they’ll do…
With the likes of Holland, Denmark and Japan to contend with in their group, qualification is probable, but by no means a shoe-in for Le Guen‘s men. According to our highly sophisticated prediction machine though, they’ll get knocked by Italy in the last 16. Shame.