Snow day no. 2 of the week means yet another look at the rags...

Gary Neville's obvious retirement, Alex McLeish's bucket of foreign wonga, and the cackstorm brewing over Fratton Park are dominating today's newspapers...
 
The Star
"Portsmouth squad up for sale"
World class stars, FA Cup winners, a top manager whose face resembled a crushed testacle - oh how 2008 must seem a distant memory for the Fratton Park faithful. Although with Avram Grant at the helm, technically they still have one of those three intact. But with their poor players yet to be paid for December's work (diddums), it appears they've been forced to put their whole squad up for sale. They're hoping to sell their most valued assets, such as, er, Younes Kaboul apparently, and, er, John Utaka. Right. Well, we didn't do a stint at the Financial Times* for nothing, and we reckon they're up turd creek. The best news for Pompey fans? David Nugent is on his way back from Burnley to save you all. Rejoice!

*We didn't do a stint at the Financial Times at all, in fact.

The Guardian
"McLeish ponders £9m move for Kenywyne Jones"
Clearly ginger Alex has been taking absolutely no notice of the "experts" who've been saying he should only make one or two signings in January, to protect his over-performing squad from getting peeved off. Because following moves for Ryan Babel, Aiden McGeady and Sporting Gijon's Michel, the Guardian claim that McLeish is "considering" making a move for the Sunderland striker, in a "bold statement of intent". You'd think the intelligent chaps at the Guardian would realise that words like "pondering" and "considering" are hardly bold in their nature are they? We've long "considered" taking over the universe by heading a New World Order comprising of Hulk Hogan, the Legion of Doom and Chandler Bing, but it's not exactly "bold" unless we actually do it is it?

The Sun
"Neville set to quit football"
One half of journalism's equivalent to the Krays, Neil Custis, is today earning his coin as the Sun's North West reporter by penning four lines about Gary Neville's imminent retirement. "The Manchester United hero is out of contract in June and there are no plans to offer a new one," says the man we've got a grudge against but can't really tell you why. Number of direct quotes in the article: 0. Chances of Mr Custis having produced the article from guesswork and hearsay, because he had nothing else to write about: 99.9%.

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