Friday's flights of fancy from the beloved English and Scottish press...

Sparky wants yet more midfielders to watch the game go by, Craig Levein rates Dundee over his country, and Jamie Carragher is still England's ninth-best defender...
 
The Independent
"City target Parker to ward off crisis"
So City are in deep doodoo, according to the press. Described as a "club reeling" by the Independent, they also remark upon the genius decision by Gareth Barry to admit that the players were "at each other's throats" following their loss to Spurs. Whatever happened to keeping things in house? Anyway, the Indie reckon that Sparky is after one man to save City's season - Kaka again? An audacious swoop for Aguero? No, no, no. It's Scott Parker. Yep, the chap who couldn't hack it at Chelsea, was less-than-average at Newcastle, and who is now playing for the side second bottom of the Premier League. He's about as inspirational as scabies. Parker from Thunderbirds was more mobile. Anyway, we can't see it. If Hughes wanted an overrated midfield plodder whose ability to pass it sideways rather than forward has somehow resulted in a reputation as a "driving midfielder", he'd have bought Gareth Barry. Ah...
 
Daily Record
"I won't take the job unless I know I'm the right man"
North of the border we go, as the papers continue to speculate as to who will become the next man to feel the unrelenting, overexpectant ire of the Scottish press - aka the Scotland manager. Today Craig Levein, the successful Dundee United manager/woeful former Leicester manager (delete as appropriate depending on which country you're from), is distancing himself from the job: "I'm not going to stand here and say I want to be manager of Scotland just because it might be perceived as being a big step up the ladder in my career." MIGHT be a step up? Blimey, if he's debating over what is the bigger job, Dundee United or Scotland, things really have taken a downturn for the national side. Nonetheless Craig, we'll help you out here. Are you the right man for the job? Answer these two questions: Do you want it? Does anybody else want it? Sorted.

The Times
"Carragher: Why I said no to my country for a second time"
We'll cut to the chase: Fabio wanted Liverpool's Jamie Carragher to reconsider his decision to retire from international duty and return to the England squad. Carragher said "no, la". Two things about this: why does Carragher feel the need to bring this up in a "look at me" stylee a year after the deed was done? Apparently it's something to do with his 600th Liverpool appearance. No, we can't see the correlation either. Second thing: Carragher says "who’s to say Capello would pick me in the squad?". Which is a very fair point. Why? Well, whisper it quietly, but one of the main reasons for Liverpool's shoddy form this season? Carra's been shit. Fabio's been given a let off, no doubt about it.