Rejoice! It's Saturday morning! Here's the dross in this morning's rags...

International football weekend means only one thing - more space to fill in the football section of your daily newspapers. So today we've got Nani heading to a world class club, an average player moving to an average club for a hefty amount of cash, and Didier Drogba surprises us all...

The Sun

"AC and Juve eye up Nani"

We mentioned during the week that Nani had pretty much signed his exit form from Old Trafford, with his somewhat unwise words about Sir Ferg. So it can't be long before the red man ships him out, particularly as he's been playing like a toddler who's shat himself anyway. So where will he go? Well The Sun today reckon that Juventus and AC Milan will "battle it out" for the poor man's Cristiano - "Recession Ronaldo" if you will. Hell, his hair's not even greasy enough. Anyhoo, our favourite journalists say that he'll fetch a fee of £15m. Stop laughing at the back. Next up, Andriy Voronin to Barca or Inter for £23m...

The Star

"£5 race on to end Reo agony"

No, that's not a dramatic dip in value for the Manchester United defender (though, it'd probably reflect his price at the minute), but instead it refers to Nigel "do, do, do," Reo Coker. In an attempt to win the hyperbole of the day competition, the Star are describing his time at Villa as "agony". And while we're sure that having a training ground slanging match with Martin Zebedee O'Neill is about as irritating as raking your bollocks along a salty razor, we reckon they might have gone slightly OTT there. Nonetheless, apparently Birmingham, Bolton, Arsenal and Blackburn (spot the odd one out there), will be looking to bid £3m for him in Jan. Our conclusion? We still can't take Nigel seriously while this still exists on the internet...

The Telegraph

"Drogba donates £3 million to help build African hospital"

Yep, you read it right. Everyone's favourite diving football mince has donated a whopping fee received from a Pepsi sponsorship deal to build a hospital in his hometown of Abidjan in the Ivory Coast. It's a gesture so nice even Niall Quinn - the footballing saint - has come out and praised the Drog. And you know what else? While the country was laughing at his ridiculous "electric shock" impression after being kicked in the chest by Jonny Evans last week, it turns out he's actually broken a rib, and may be out for three weeks. Humble pie and mucho apologies to Didier from us here at TP...