Hands up who fancies pointing out their basic error when they visit Wembley this weekend?

No one likes Millwall...

...According to their chant, conveniently forgetting that in this day and age, Millwall are largely an irrelevance, and the overriding feeling towards them is sheer indifference. After all, they say the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. So well done to the dipstick Millwall supporters (or should that be supporter's?) who designed this tee, ensuring that at least guardians of the English language will once again despise the south east London club.

Maybe their intention, in true Millwall fashion, was to rankle. Or maybe they're just as thick as the proverbial swine turd. We'll let you decide.

Iain Dowie was chuffed to bits with his first ever trophy...

Part two of our seasonal awards round-up. Enjoy...

Did you miss the first part to our painstakingly researched ToePoke End of Season Awards? Then catch up here, we've no time for stragglers. And once you're done, come back, for you won't see who else is deserving of one of our metaphorical prizes. That's right Iain, metaphorical. So don't get in touch for a much-sought after piece of silverware, you're getting nowt from us, ok Dowie? [More]

'As prizes go, this is the pinnacle. Or whatever the opposite of pinnacle is.'

It's the end of season awards that everyone (us) is talking about...

In the world of football it has been a season of highs and lows, ups and downs and other assorted cliches. But perhaps the most - no, actually THE most - important development this season or any other for that matter, has been the birth of ToePoke. From its humble beginnings, our little blog has spawned into the most important source of football related information on the entire World Wide Web. We are not ones to boast about stats but lets just say we are literally influencing the lives of dozens of readers. Like Dr Martin Luther King once said: 'Dreams can come true'.

Actually, that one might belong to Gabrielle. Either way, it's onwards and upwards here at ToePoke (or at the very least maintaining our current trajectory) and to round off a great year, we present to you part 1 of ToePoke's inaugural end of season awards*. Drums please! [More]

Saltergate's season ticket holders were shocked at the price hike for next season...

Warning: this is batshit

Do you, like us, ever imagine what football would be like if, say, David Lynch or Terry Gilliam were allowed to direct one game a season?

No?

Well let us do it for you. We reckon it'd be set in... [More]

Pete Doherty's coke habit often affected his games of Subbuteo...

Robert Green's new excuse – altitude...

When Daft Punk wrote the song Harder, better, faster, stronger, featuring lyrics such as "harder, better, faster, stronger" and, er, "harder, better, faster, stronger", we all assumed it was about sex. Or their favourite cheese. They are French after all.

But no. Turns out, it's a song dedicated to... [More]

Skinhead - check, buttoned-up polo shirt - check. Unhinged - double check.

Who says Chelsea fans aren't passionate?

This guy was clearly happy with Didier Drogba's opening goal in the Liverpool v Chelsea match at the weekend. But fair play to him, despite looking like a cardboard cut out knob-end Chelsea fan, he's clearly chuffed that Steven Gerrard's dire backpass helped pretty much ensure the title for the Blues, rather than 18-time winners Man Utd...

Is this the part where we smugly suggest that this could quite easily be the Kop End?

"Hell on Wheels: Who could survive this?"

The suffering of Premier League footballers is finally getting the recognition it deserves...

A new appeal was launched today in an attempt to tackle an issue that has caused great concern among the general public in recent days. Save Helpless In Transit Sportsmen (SHITS) is a charity created solely to aid footballers facing the plight of travelling long distances by luxury coach. [More]

Proof that yanks still hate soccerball...

Quarter-pounders with cheese. Tipping waitresses. Paying for medical care. Hugh Laurie - Americans love each and every one of these things. As for the good old game of foota? Not so much. They might be the nation who've bought the most amount of World Cup tickets this summer, but if this chap above is anything to go by, it'll be a while yet before they... [More]

'I think some chap has just let off a flare! Hoorah!'

Part 3 of our investigation into fans behaviour is finally here. It's also the final part. No tears please - even crocodile ones...

Probably the most pertinent question that should be asked is: Why do normally reasonable and socially responsible people find it acceptable to change their behaviour in the confines of a football stadium? Dr John Drury, Senior Lecturer in...

The future of football?

It's Friday and it's part 2 of our look at abusive fans. Could your day get any better? (Yes, is probably the answer)

Sol Campbell’s astonishment at the vitriol still aimed at him by Spur’s fans, some 10 years after he crossed the rather sizeable north London divide, perhaps further illustrates the yawning gap between the average fan and the Premier League footballer. Since the advent of the Premiership in 1992, the league...