Look at what you could've had Florentino - for the next 76,923 years...

Jamie Walker talks us through the Real president's expenditure...

Real Madrid, having spent a figure somewhere close to a quarter of a billion pounds on transfers in the summer, are in a state of turmoil having been dumped out of the Champions League at the quarter finals stage for the sixth year in a row. Though the return of Florentino Perez was supposed to herald Los Nuevos Galacticos, everyone forgot, Florentino included, how badly the plan flopped the first time around... [More]

Smile all you want love, but Boris Becker (right) will not let you touch a drop of his vino...

Ever feel like you've missed out on a good party?

Cast your minds back to February 25th 2010. You may recall (you won't, that's why we've provided a working link) that the winner of our infrequent Press Release of the Week award were those fine folk from the Slovenia Tourist Board.

They were kindly inviting us to a "Slovenia...bet you'll love it" do which featured Slovenia boss Matjaz Kek and promised "a bit of fun", which prompted us to make an inappropriate insinuation about sex parties. Unsure as to whether there'd be any free booze and/or grub, we didn't end up going.

And it serves us right for attempting to gently mock on our football blog instead of responding with a polite RSVP, because we heard back from the organisers of the little shindig... [More]

'Let's be 'avin ya!'

Becks over-whelmed by the support of the Canaries faithful

David Beckham last night spoke about his deep love of Norwich City and his joy to be back at the ground after such a long time. The England star last played for the East Anglican side some seven years ago but the crowd were vocal in their appreciation of a man who spent so many great years at the club. Speaking after his current club, AC Milan, were knocked out of the Champions League by the Carrow Road outfit, Beckham seemed genuinely moved by the reception he received: [More]

Can the Arse do it without Fab? We reckonzzzz...

This evening the Arsenal host Porto without the guidance and guile of their talismanic captain - take a bow Sir Cesc of Fabregas. The stats, signs and possibly even the stars seem to be against them, not having overturned a first-leg deficit in the CL in nine attempts. However, priced at 4/6 (with Ladbrokes) to qualify this eve, you just gotta fancy'em.
 
Bosh them in a double with a recently Neil Warnocked QPR, who face Plymouth and are massively overpriced at 4/5. They should be a 1/2 shot. The double pays 2/1. Thank us when it comes in. Scold us when Porto's three-pronged attack does a job on Campbell and co...

Tracy Island got the "Pimp my ride" treatment...

Gorillaz are back. And we've got copies of their album to give away...

Rejoice, it's competition time folks. We've got five copies of the record the world has been waiting five years for. Nope, not Don't Stop Believin' by those disturbingly cheery Glee folk, but Plastic Beach by Gorillaz. Cue the blurb:

"How you doin?"

Mick McCarthy - dour and miserable? How wrong we were...

We'd like to apologise to one Michael Joseph McCarthy. See, we've always figured the former bruising centre-back turned straight-talking manager was a bit of a boring, dour bastard. Obviously, as this clip above shows - taken from Wolves' game against Man Utd at the weekend - he's nothing of the sort. All it needs is a cheeky camera zoom and out comes the proper Mick Mac - suave, sophisticated and, er, sexy. He's got more camera-presence than Clooney, and if this doesn't embody Joey Tribiani's catchphrase we don't know what does.

At least until he opens his gob, obviously...

"Let's resolve this argument on Twitter". Is probably what he should've said...

*via Twitter...

You may not be fans of Twitter, but despite the backlash, we find it a bit of a chuckle. Particularly when celebs go a bit OTT, presumably when they're a bit pissed. A bit like a text message, you can't undo them you see, which can make for entertaining viewing. Then there's Stan Collymore, who, like in real life, is rarely short of an opinion.

So when he began a rant about Alan Hansen's BBC wage, it must have struck a chord, because he just wouldn't ruddy stop. Remember the point of Twitter - 140 characters, and that's it. Someone forgot to tell Stan, though, and we sensed there might have been a bit of needle behind the rant. So we told him. And, well guess what...

Dave's Book Club was a bit of a struggle...

Everybody hates a gloater...

So we won't say a thing.

We did tell you though...