The BBC prove there's no flies on them...

The BBC's remit requires only the best quality journalism. Always double check sources, never report rumour as fact, and don't report utter tosh. It's a standard to be respected, but sometimes one can't help but take the piss every now and then - clearly the Beeb's medical correspondent wasn't around to confirm that, given the angle of Ramsey's bent right leg, they probably didn't need to whack a cautious "suspected" in there...

And it goes without saying, here's to a speedy recovery Aaron lad...

Filtering out the dross from Thursday's papers, and collecting it all in one juicy bundle...

Today Rafa is being personally abused by BMI-scrutinising Romanians, Bobby Manc is on the verge of his first British press roasting, and proof the Sun had to file their copy nice and early last night...

Finally, a man who just can't hide his utter despair at the thought of spending an hour in the company of Alan Hansen...

Could Slaven Bilic look any less enthused about being on the MOTD 2 panel? Mind you, we can't really blame him. Would you like to spend time in the company of the joint most annoying Scotsman in the world (a title he shares with Alan Cumming) and a tramp?

To be fair, judging by the suit, it seems he may just have arrived from a wake. Which begs the question, 'How skint must this guy be if he needs the Beeb's appearance fee, despite the fact he is mourning a member of his family?' Chin up Slav, at least you always have the fond memory of making Steve McLaren look like the utter tit he is to get you through those difficult times.

Thanks to our good friend at Healthy Scratch for giving us the heads up on this video.

Egypt's manager takes his anger out on an innocent camel

Hassan Shehata claims he doesn't want Israel job. Does he mean it?

We all know that when it comes to it, a manager will bugger off to the first team that offers him a better deal. Despite constantly preaching the virtues of loyalty to the players in their charge, they will ditch their club quicker than that cage fighter will divorce Jordan, once he finds out she is riddled.

Not only that, when a manager jumps ship, he usually does so on the back of heartfelt protestations to the contrary, as these recent examples show. [More]

This. Is. Brilliant.

Observe, ladies and gents, why lower league football will always, that's ALWAYS, be better than that shitty Premier League nonsense. Just listen to... [More]

Because we never need an excuse...

...to show a clip of uber-hero Sir Jeff of Stelling and his motley Soccer Saturday crew when they're on form. Keep up the good work men. True story - if you turn to BBC's equivalent with Garth Crooks, Lee Dixon and their latest Ray Stubbs-lite presenter, the television screens they're actually watching are tuned in to Sky Sports 1...

JT: "Influencial" (sic)

And the retrospective bad idea of the year award goes to...

...Riviera Entertainment PR firm for releasing this advert for their client a few months back. Though they only narrowly beat Daddies Sauce, who awarded him the Dad of the Year title in 2008. He's got three-year-old twins.

And that's about all we're going to say, because we've seen the injunction and it's pretty scary - not that we have any assets to freeze mind you. But we have met big JT before and have a canny little anecdote. Wanna hear it? Send us an email at toepoke.net@gmail.com with your favourite nickname for Terry in the subject header, and we'll get back to you with an email chock full of words like "allegedly." Because we're wusses...

Football's old hat. All the cool kids are doing politics now...

Elections, Chilcot inquiries, expenses, badly-coiffured hair - you can't move for politics these days. Question Time is getting bigger ratings than Big Brother, Andrew Neil is cooler than Ray Stubbs, and Gordon Brown is saving the world from meltdown (all lies. Probably). So while we were always told not to get involved in things we knew little about, it doesn't seem to have done Jamie Redknapp any harm. So as soon as we saw... [More]