Paolo Di Canio vs Paul Alcock? Pah, that's nowt...

Our favourite story from the world of football this week. Big Howard Webb wouldn't have taken this shit. He'd have choked slammed him back...

"Paraguay soccer player Jose Pedroso received a 27-game ban for... [More]

Pete Doherty's coke habit often affected his games of Subbuteo...

Robert Green's new excuse – altitude...

When Daft Punk wrote the song Harder, better, faster, stronger, featuring lyrics such as "harder, better, faster, stronger" and, er, "harder, better, faster, stronger", we all assumed it was about sex. Or their favourite cheese. They are French after all.

But no. Turns out, it's a song dedicated to... [More]

Here's something we made earlier...

Hypocrisy: the new scent from Harry Redknapp...

What's the most annoying thing about loud-mouth shock-jock radio (see: Talksport) presenters and columnists? Is it their deliberately “controversial” opinions that they conjure up to provoke debate? Not in our book. No, while their views do often more than border on irritating, it's their hypocrisy that really grinds. When they say one thing and argue for it like it's their reason for being, only to argue for the complete opposite six months later when they need another contrived opinion to incense listeners/readers.

But hey, after all, that's their job. In the end, it's all got to be taken with... [More]

ToePoke in TV ad praise shocker...

Make no bones about it, your TV screens will be awash with gratuitous football tripe during the ad breaks for the next few months. No matter how tenuous the link (it's a matter of time before we get the first "Official tampon of the FIFA World Cup), every advertising agency worth their beans will be advising their clients to produce a commercial based on this summer's big hoopla in Saffa.

So it's quite refreshing to have seen at least one that doesn't... [More]

The BBC prove there's no flies on them...

The BBC's remit requires only the best quality journalism. Always double check sources, never report rumour as fact, and don't report utter tosh. It's a standard to be respected, but sometimes one can't help but take the piss every now and then - clearly the Beeb's medical correspondent wasn't around to confirm that, given the angle of Ramsey's bent right leg, they probably didn't need to whack a cautious "suspected" in there...

And it goes without saying, here's to a speedy recovery Aaron lad...

Filtering out the dross from Thursday's papers, and collecting it all in one juicy bundle...

Today Rafa is being personally abused by BMI-scrutinising Romanians, Bobby Manc is on the verge of his first British press roasting, and proof the Sun had to file their copy nice and early last night...

Finally, a man who just can't hide his utter despair at the thought of spending an hour in the company of Alan Hansen...

Could Slaven Bilic look any less enthused about being on the MOTD 2 panel? Mind you, we can't really blame him. Would you like to spend time in the company of the joint most annoying Scotsman in the world (a title he shares with Alan Cumming) and a tramp?

To be fair, judging by the suit, it seems he may just have arrived from a wake. Which begs the question, 'How skint must this guy be if he needs the Beeb's appearance fee, despite the fact he is mourning a member of his family?' Chin up Slav, at least you always have the fond memory of making Steve McLaren look like the utter tit he is to get you through those difficult times.

Thanks to our good friend at Healthy Scratch for giving us the heads up on this video.

Egypt's manager takes his anger out on an innocent camel

Hassan Shehata claims he doesn't want Israel job. Does he mean it?

We all know that when it comes to it, a manager will bugger off to the first team that offers him a better deal. Despite constantly preaching the virtues of loyalty to the players in their charge, they will ditch their club quicker than that cage fighter will divorce Jordan, once he finds out she is riddled.

Not only that, when a manager jumps ship, he usually does so on the back of heartfelt protestations to the contrary, as these recent examples show. [More]

This. Is. Brilliant.

Observe, ladies and gents, why lower league football will always, that's ALWAYS, be better than that shitty Premier League nonsense. Just listen to... [More]

Because we never need an excuse...

...to show a clip of uber-hero Sir Jeff of Stelling and his motley Soccer Saturday crew when they're on form. Keep up the good work men. True story - if you turn to BBC's equivalent with Garth Crooks, Lee Dixon and their latest Ray Stubbs-lite presenter, the television screens they're actually watching are tuned in to Sky Sports 1...