Crazy Icelandic players 'bait' the opposition...

Back in the day, goal celebrations involved nothing more than some ugly, hairy guy  exposing his badly smashed teeth with a slight grin while his teammates slapped his back so hard that they actually seemed angry with him. None of this hugging crap, they would do their real manly celebrations over a pint of vodka or two. [More]

Barton, still trying to differentiate his arse from his elbow..

460

The number of litres that would have been reached if it where possible to collect each mouthful of tea that was spat out when the drinker read the headline - 'Joey Barton: I'm as good as anyone in England'

 

That, ladies and cigar on the eyeball stubbing gentlemen who will never, ever, learn their lesson, is a FACT!

[More]

We're giving away copies copies of Time Flies, deluxe copies no less...

Are you still struggling to come to terms that two mono-browed Mancunican brothers will be fighting no more? Perhaps you haven't quite got over Bonehead and Guigsy leaving the band, never mind Oasis officially splitting up. Well never fear, we have the perfect thing to keep you ticking over till they no doubt re-form in 2023, the complete collection of all their singles. Even ones that the curly-haired drummer played on. [More]

"What do you mean 'blow'?"

The great Maradona always adapts to his environment...

Chortle.

[More]

'Agghhrr, I will never understand this game they call football!'

Greece in the World Cup 2010, the story so far...*

*(shit)

As a Scotland fan, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never again experience the thrill of competing in an international tournament. Unless of course there is an obesity/alcoholism/casual-violence/drug abuse competition that ends up overtaking football in the future as the masses viewing pleasure of choice. But even then there is not much to look forward to as the format of a continuous round-robin against England and USA will no doubt become a tad boring.

So imagine my excitement when I met a beautiful Greek girl in the wake of her country's Euro 04 triumph. Not only did I have the chance to see out my days with a woman I love and adore, but I also got to (kind of) legitimately support an international team who, actually, not only qualified for international tournaments but also win the bloody things.

Alas, it has not quite turned out like that. [More]

 

Stephen Roberts examines the chances of everyone's favourite sportsman's, Ronaldo, national team...

Portugal. Point of departure for a few of Christopher Columbus' nautical jaunts. Point of departure for a couple of England's recent big tournament failures. Boys and girls, South Africa 2010 is already under way and there ain't no time for tenuous cultural links. Just wikipedia them for chrissake, that's all we do anyway... [More]

 

Spain. The team most experts (and us) are tipping to win the competition...

In days gone by, Spain was most famous for cruelty to bulls, General Franco, tapas and putting up with obese, alcohol ravaged, lobster-skinned English tourists in the name of making a few pesetas. Now, they are known for, well, all of these things still but you can also add an amazing national team to that list. The Euro 08 champs are aiming to become World Cup winners for the first time in their history. And who can stop them, apart from Brazil or dysentary after a dodgy paella. [More]

Serbia. Not only famous for warlords like Arkan and women who are quite good at tennis. Jamie Walker reckons they aredecent at football too...

What do Yugoslavia, Serbia & Montenegro, and Serbia have in common? That's right, they're all the same ruddy place. Well, it keeps getting smaller, what with all the splitting up and forming new countries, but they represent the same place at international football. Answers for who will be representing that part of the Balkan region in 2014 on the back of a postcard... [More]

Greece's new strike partnership. Still a better option than Georgios Samaras as a lone forward...

ToePoke finally gets the recognition it deserves. (By people other than our mothers)

It was only a matter of time. For too long, ToePoke has only been known to those people who had their finger on the underground sporting pulse, a minority who were prepared to dig a little deeper to get a handle on what was really happening in the world of football. The fact that many of these people happened to be mates or mates of mates on Facebook is entirely coincidental.

 

Now, however, our little blog is ready to be accepted and enjoyed by the masses - of people who can actually be bothered to read football blogs. In conjunction with The Guardian, yes the actual Guardian and not that crap American programme on Five USA, we will be reporting on the progress of Greece throughout the World Cup this year... [More]

Bet you have never seen this picture before...

We talk to the ex Fulham star about sexy legs, painting the town with Keith Moon and a slow boat to Oz. And Des O' Conner.

You may not be aware of this but England won the World Cup in 1966. Shocked? Look up the history books, it's actually true. People in this country really need to mention it more often. Another fact you mate not be aware of is that in 1982, former Preston North End and Grimbsy footballer - turned singer - Cliff Portwood recorded a World Cup single with members of the '66 winning team. However, due to a technical issue (somebody forgot to press record?) the song never seen the light of day. Until now that is. We speak to Mr Portwood about the re-mastered single and his almost unbelievable life story. [More]