That's meant to be a football pitch. Based on Wembley's surface then we're guessing...

More Dutch delight - this time in Port Liz...

"In the first half, it was so bullshit that I went outshide at half time for a schmoke. Then second half, we cut them to pieces like pork chops."

We've no idea what Hansen and co. made of Holland's shock win over Brazil on Friday, but the bruising Dutch gent (see pic below) we spoke to after the game can't have been too far off with his unique analysis. The big fella in question had... [More]

Singing the Dutch national anthem today...give a warm welcome to Shteve McClaren...

The sun is bright in Durban, and the future is Oranje...

Hangovers are rarely relished, but the one we woke up with yesterday following England's miserable yet sadly inevitable demise against the Germans was a particularly punishing one.

Due to the unexpected rain in Durban... [More]

John Goossens come on down!

30 yards out? Chance of a first time volley? If your name is John Goossens, then forget about it. Instead, have the audacity to flick it up again, and then ping the ruddy thing. Then watch as the pig's bladder bananas over the keeper for a ridiculously awesome goal that you wouldn't even expect to see on the XBox. A volley that fellow Duthman Marco van Basten would be chuffed to claim. As Shteve McLaren might shay, thatsh nyshe...