Phil Brown: Ledge...

Texture like sun. Oh how he will be missed...

"Don't wanna go home, don't wanna go hooooooome. This is the best trip, I've ever been on." And so it ends. Phil Brown's tenure as Hull City boss, that is. And, love him or hate him, we're definitely going to miss him.

Whether it's his cheeky denials about regular trips to TanFastic, his on-pitch karaoke sessions after an own goal by another team in another game is the only factor that keeps his side up after a tonking by Man Utd's third team, or his perfectly trimmed goatee that completes the "Danny Dyer's boss in a shit Brit flick set in Benidorm" look, the Premier League is a worse place without him. Which makes it a perfect time to produce a ToePoke Videode...

Look at what you could've had Florentino - for the next 76,923 years...

Jamie Walker talks us through the Real president's expenditure...

Real Madrid, having spent a figure somewhere close to a quarter of a billion pounds on transfers in the summer, are in a state of turmoil having been dumped out of the Champions League at the quarter finals stage for the sixth year in a row. Though the return of Florentino Perez was supposed to herald Los Nuevos Galacticos, everyone forgot, Florentino included, how badly the plan flopped the first time around... [More]

Smile all you want love, but Boris Becker (right) will not let you touch a drop of his vino...

Ever feel like you've missed out on a good party?

Cast your minds back to February 25th 2010. You may recall (you won't, that's why we've provided a working link) that the winner of our infrequent Press Release of the Week award were those fine folk from the Slovenia Tourist Board.

They were kindly inviting us to a "Slovenia...bet you'll love it" do which featured Slovenia boss Matjaz Kek and promised "a bit of fun", which prompted us to make an inappropriate insinuation about sex parties. Unsure as to whether there'd be any free booze and/or grub, we didn't end up going.

And it serves us right for attempting to gently mock on our football blog instead of responding with a polite RSVP, because we heard back from the organisers of the little shindig... [More]

Roa: Batty...(see what we did there?)

Jamie Walker gets apocalyptic with the former Argie keeper...

Religion can make people do some crazy things. Still, we like to think that at Toepoke, there is a space for each and every creed known to man. We don’t care if you worship the bearded G-Man up in the sky, sacrifice men to the Aztec gods or even kneel to almighty Ra, as long as you’re prepared to respect that we follow the word of the ball. That said, if what you believe in contradicts what we do, we’re happy to lambast you (unless you’re part of a murderous Aztec horde, in which case we wish you all the best in your endeavours.)

...Cue Carlos Roa... [More]

'Let's be 'avin ya!'

Becks over-whelmed by the support of the Canaries faithful

David Beckham last night spoke about his deep love of Norwich City and his joy to be back at the ground after such a long time. The England star last played for the East Anglican side some seven years ago but the crowd were vocal in their appreciation of a man who spent so many great years at the club. Speaking after his current club, AC Milan, were knocked out of the Champions League by the Carrow Road outfit, Beckham seemed genuinely moved by the reception he received: [More]

From video camera to TV, to phone camera, to computer, to Youtube, to football blog. The wonders of technology eh?

Football fashion... with the ever understated Didier Drogba

"It's a fucking disgrace", as Drogba himself once said. Wearing tea cozies and garish New Era baseball caps (yeah, that's right, we're down with the kids here at ToePoke) is one thing. Rocking a shiny blue, Byker Grove-style puffer jacket with what seems to be peacock feathers on the hood, however, takes things to an all-new sartorial low for Drogba. And that's certainly saying something, ladies and gents...

Seen anyone else who deserves a place in the forthcoming ToePoke catalogue? Let us know here toepoke.net@gmail.com.

'All of these sackings is such pain. There is no-one left to help me push this weeks' wage home'

85

The number, of people, who lost their jobs at Portsmouth FC today, most of whom were on less than 20k per year. The players, who earn up to 80k per week, didn't even consider the possibilty of a pay cut of their own in an attempt to save the jobs of their grossly lower paid colleagues.

That, ladies and gentleman, is a very sad fact.

Can the Arse do it without Fab? We reckonzzzz...

This evening the Arsenal host Porto without the guidance and guile of their talismanic captain - take a bow Sir Cesc of Fabregas. The stats, signs and possibly even the stars seem to be against them, not having overturned a first-leg deficit in the CL in nine attempts. However, priced at 4/6 (with Ladbrokes) to qualify this eve, you just gotta fancy'em.
 
Bosh them in a double with a recently Neil Warnocked QPR, who face Plymouth and are massively overpriced at 4/5. They should be a 1/2 shot. The double pays 2/1. Thank us when it comes in. Scold us when Porto's three-pronged attack does a job on Campbell and co...