Crazy Icelandic players 'bait' the opposition...

Back in the day, goal celebrations involved nothing more than some ugly, hairy guy  exposing his badly smashed teeth with a slight grin while his teammates slapped his back so hard that they actually seemed angry with him. None of this hugging crap, they would do their real manly celebrations over a pint of vodka or two. [More]

Tom Hanks questioned his decision to make Turner and Hooch 2...

Divine Comedy top dog Neil Hannon has a word...

He's the man behind the theme music for Father Ted and The IT Crowd, he spent last summer singing about cricket, he's just written a musical and now his band, The Divine Comedy, have released their tenth studio album. He's been so busy he missed the World Cup final. So the big question is, where did Neil Hannon find the time to speak to us? [More]

Paolo Di Canio vs Paul Alcock? Pah, that's nowt...

Our favourite story from the world of football this week. Big Howard Webb wouldn't have taken this shit. He'd have choked slammed him back...

"Paraguay soccer player Jose Pedroso received a 27-game ban for... [More]

The relaunched Vengaboys meant business this time...

That's right, another competition. We're giving prizes away like Howard Webb does yellow cards...

Richard Ashcroft eh? Not only can he write some lovely ditties, but he has cheekbones that look harder than a rhino's tusk. Not a bad combination. Which probably explains why he can name his new project the United Nations of Sound without breaking into a smirk. And who are we to mock, we called our site ToePoke. And mock we daren't, as we have copies of their brand new album just out this week to give away to five lucky readers. All you have to do is answer a very easy question, just read the blurb first... [More]

Few doubted that Steve Jobs had really nailed it this time...

Hey remember this feature? Yeah, we nearly forgot about it too...

After minute's silences, keeper shorts and half time craic we can now add these things we miss from fitbae matches... [More]

Barton, still trying to differentiate his arse from his elbow..

460

The number of litres that would have been reached if it where possible to collect each mouthful of tea that was spat out when the drinker read the headline - 'Joey Barton: I'm as good as anyone in England'

That, ladies and cigar on the eyeball stubbing gentlemen who will never, ever, learn their lesson, is a FACT!

'Hey English players, here's something you'll never do.'

Thank you South Africa, you were wonderful. (Unlike this lot)

When a World Cup ends, people often experience a feeling of melancholy deep inside. What most people don't realise is the gnawing pain is actually the first stages of cerrosis of the liver, brought on by drinking over a thousand bottles of strong lager throughout the tournament which they purchased from LIDL's for less than 13p a litre. For the lucky few who manage to avoid an alcohol induced premature death, they can take the memories of each passing World Cup into later life.

As I was one of... [More]

We're giving away copies copies of Time Flies, deluxe copies no less...

Are you still struggling to come to terms that two mono-browed Mancunican brothers will be fighting no more? Perhaps you haven't quite got over Bonehead and Guigsy leaving the band, never mind Oasis officially splitting up. Well never fear, we have the perfect thing to keep you ticking over till they no doubt re-form in 2023, the complete collection of all their singles. Even ones that the curly-haired drummer played on. [More]

Rules: there to be broken. Now put your mouth round this...

From the safe haven of South Africa, we return to the gun-toting murderous land we call England. Oh the irony...

So there you have it. After four weeks, 64 games and a ten-hour return flight seemingly transporting half of the world's TV media and their unfeasibly large hand luggage, our stonking month in South Africa is over. Five live games in three brilliant stadiums, the majority of the rest watched at jam-packed, passion-fuelled fan fests, and a handful of local attractions visited would suggest that we'd had a ruddy good time. And you know what, we did.

But unlike the majority of the press over here... [More]

Pauli: Better than Lawro...

It's World Cup Final day! And we're backing the octopus...

The problem with going to a World Cup in a magical and distant land, is that you begin to feel a little guilty after nigh on a month doing sod all bar watching football in bars and swanky new stadiums.

So with us at ToePoke being the cultured types (who’s that laughing at the back?), we’ve spent the time since our last update doing just what Lonely Planet told us to do... [More]