'All of these sackings is such pain. There is no-one left to help me push this weeks' wage home'

85

The number, of people, who lost their jobs at Portsmouth FC today, most of whom were on less than 20k per year. The players, who earn up to 80k per week, didn't even consider the possibilty of a pay cut of their own in an attempt to save the jobs of their grossly lower paid colleagues.

That, ladies and gentleman, is a very sad fact.

Can the Arse do it without Fab? We reckonzzzz...

This evening the Arsenal host Porto without the guidance and guile of their talismanic captain - take a bow Sir Cesc of Fabregas. The stats, signs and possibly even the stars seem to be against them, not having overturned a first-leg deficit in the CL in nine attempts. However, priced at 4/6 (with Ladbrokes) to qualify this eve, you just gotta fancy'em.
 
Bosh them in a double with a recently Neil Warnocked QPR, who face Plymouth and are massively overpriced at 4/5. They should be a 1/2 shot. The double pays 2/1. Thank us when it comes in. Scold us when Porto's three-pronged attack does a job on Campbell and co...

Tracy Island got the "Pimp my ride" treatment...

Gorillaz are back. And we've got copies of their album to give away...

Rejoice, it's competition time folks. We've got five copies of the record the world has been waiting five years for. Nope, not Don't Stop Believin' by those disturbingly cheery Glee folk, but Plastic Beach by Gorillaz. Cue the blurb:

"How you doin?"

Mick McCarthy - dour and miserable? How wrong we were...

We'd like to apologise to one Michael Joseph McCarthy. See, we've always figured the former bruising centre-back turned straight-talking manager was a bit of a boring, dour bastard. Obviously, as this clip above shows - taken from Wolves' game against Man Utd at the weekend - he's nothing of the sort. All it needs is a cheeky camera zoom and out comes the proper Mick Mac - suave, sophisticated and, er, sexy. He's got more camera-presence than Clooney, and if this doesn't embody Joey Tribiani's catchphrase we don't know what does.

At least until he opens his gob, obviously...

44 years of hurt. And counting...

William Blake wrote, "I will not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand: 
till we have built Jerusalem, in England's green & pleasant land”. Rupert Brooke went for, “If I should die, think only this of me, that there's some corner of a foreign field, that is for ever England.” And Fat Les? “Me and me mum and me dad and me gran, we're off to Waterloo. Me and me mum and me dad and me gran, with a bucket of vindaloo.” Quite...

Quagmire................Dean Whitehead

'It seems to me, that all we see, is violence in movies and....

Another stupid look-a-like on the website, TP.' To be fair to us, it's been an extremely heavy weekend and trying to coax the assembled brain-cells we have left to come up with something witty and intelligent like we usually do (no laughing at the back) is a bit of a stretch at this juncture. So instead our design team (person) has come up with this.

That's not to say this ain't funny, and slightly disturbing. Whitehead, like Quagmire, has a chin like a template for a Findus Crispy Pancake box and also has a way with the ladies. In saying that, the ladies he is having his way with are from Stoke. Peter Griffins daughter, Meg, is probaly better looking than about 98% of the women in Stoke. Come to think of it, so is his son Chris...

New Zealand at the World Cup. Present.

It's less than 100 days to the World Cup begins in earnest. So that means we have  clearly not stuck to our initial promise of one World Cup guide per week until the competition starts. So expect at least one guide per week from now on.* This week, we take a look at New Zealand and its fine footballing heritage. It is also a country that now has more Lord Of The Rings geeks - creaming their pants when they see the exact spot where Elijah Wood looked like a complete gimp - than sheep.

*or expect the last 15 guides to appear the day before the World Cup [More]

"Let's resolve this argument on Twitter". Is probably what he should've said...

*via Twitter...

You may not be fans of Twitter, but despite the backlash, we find it a bit of a chuckle. Particularly when celebs go a bit OTT, presumably when they're a bit pissed. A bit like a text message, you can't undo them you see, which can make for entertaining viewing. Then there's Stan Collymore, who, like in real life, is rarely short of an opinion.

So when he began a rant about Alan Hansen's BBC wage, it must have struck a chord, because he just wouldn't ruddy stop. Remember the point of Twitter - 140 characters, and that's it. Someone forgot to tell Stan, though, and we sensed there might have been a bit of needle behind the rant. So we told him. And, well guess what...